


Sauntering to a Fall

by preciousbunnynoiz



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Confrontations, Friendship/Love, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Other, Pre-Canon, fated love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 18:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19215274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousbunnynoiz/pseuds/preciousbunnynoiz
Summary: Crowley before he was Crowley.How he fell and what he really lost in that fall...





	Sauntering to a Fall

"Can I see it!?"

Cassiel smiled at the wide-eyed young angel with the shock of blond hair who was bouncing on his toes.

“Oh you mean the Nebula?” he asked shaking his long red curls out of his eyes nonchalantly like he didn’t know exactly why this young un-named angel had snuck into the creation offices.

“Don’t tease Cassiel” the angel pouted and Cassiel laughed and took the young angel’s hand.

“Sorry sorry! Come on, I’ll show you.” Cassiel was absurdly pleased with this little piece of creation he had helped make and was glad his friend wanted to see it so badly.

When they reached it he swept out an arm grandly.

“Ta dah!” but his eyes were on his companion whose eyes were shining with excitement and wonder.

“Oh Cassiel it’s so pretty!”

“Well thank you!” they admired the nebula for a little bit before Cassiel took the other angel’s hand in his and led him back to Cassiel’s office..

“You’re going to come and join me in the creation department when you get your name right?” Cassiel asked hopefully.

Angels didn’t get assigned a role until they were assigned their name by the Almighty. Cassiel had gotten his name before his friend but he was hopeful that his friend would be assigned with him.

“I promise! I really want to create beautiful things with you Cassiel!” Cassiel smiled and pulled his friend into a hug.

“I want that too!”

His friend reluctantly pulled himself away.

“I’ve got to get back. Gabriel said I had to see him soon. Something about orders from the Almighty. I just wanted to see you first.”

That was unusual but the Almighty had a plan so it was okay right?

Right?

 

Cassiel kept himself busy but his friend didn’t come and see him again. Cassiel tried to ignore it and get on with his work but something felt off about his friend last time.

So Cassiel went looking.

He flew around looking and spied his friend from behind standing alone in an empty courtyard. he were just going to greet him when his friend took a deep breath and widened his stance and held up a flaming sword in front of him.

Cassiel landed in shock.

As Cassiel watched his friend walked through the footwork needed as he swung his blade in precise arcs. As he turned during his drill Cassiel saw the hard look of concentration on his face and it was like looking at a stranger.

“What? What is this?” Cassiel found himself blurting out.

his friend jumped and turned his head, noticing him for the first time.

he shook the sword so that the flames extinguished and tried to hide it behind his back.

“Cassiel! Um...it’s ah um...how much did you see?” his friend said with guilt.

“Enough to know you’re training with a flaming sword? Have you been named and assigned to the military forces!?” Cassiel demanded walking towards his friend.

His friend shifted his weight, his wings twitching slightly as he blushed.

“Not...exactly.”

“What do you mean not exactly!?” Cassiel wanted to reach out and shake his friend.

“I haven’t been named yet or officially assigned but...the almighty wanted me to start training with the sword. Said my role will have to do with her ultimate plan and that I just need to be patient.”

Cassiel’s hands clenched into fists.

What was this!?

His friend?

Wield a sword!?

WHY?

He wasn’t violent! He just wanted to make beautiful things! He just wanted to create things!

“Did you explain what you wanted to the Almighty?” Cassiel asked through clenched teeth, “Did you tell her our promise?”

His friend looked down at the floor and poked at the ground with the toes of their right foot.

“...I didn’t think I had the right.” he murmured, “I’m sorry Cassiel. I don’t want to fight but I have to obey.”

“WHY!? If you told her what you really wanted I’m sure she’d understand! You don’t want to fight do you? Just tell her that she’s making a mistake!” Cassiel almost pleaded.

“Cassiel!” his friend hissed looking around warily “Don’t say things like that! People will think you’re siding with _him_ and his friends”

“Well maybe I am!”

So what if people thought he was agreeing with Lucifer and his pals who were all muttering complaints? Maybe if enough of them confronted the Almighty she’d listen.

“Cassiel!”

But Cassiel couldn’t bear to hear anymore and flew away.

This was wrong!

Making such a gentle angel as his friend wield a sword was _wrong._

 

It had all gone to shit and Cassiel had sided with the wrong side completely.

Fuck fuck fuck!

He ran through gleaming halls of heaven clutching his right arm which was covered in blood.

Trying to avoid the sounds of violence and battle coming from all directions.

He had started running as soon as the fighting started but it was everywhere and he couldn’t get away.

He didn’t want to kill anyone! Why hadn’t he realised that Lucifer never intended to have a “calm chat” about their grievances.

Cassiel had only started hanging out with him out of spite and because he had a number of questions but he hadn’t wanted _this._

He hadn’t even fought with any of the other angels despite having a sword stuck in his arm at one point. He’d just fled instead. It felt like an eternity of running and hiding.

He ducked through a door and leaned up against the wall, he listened out for pursuit for a moment before relaxing back against the wall his head hitting the white wall behind him as he gave a sigh of relief.

“Cassiel?” a shaky voice asked.

Cassiel opened his eyes to see his friend across the room. Cassiel must have missed him when he entered because he was focused on what was behind him.

Cassiel noted the flaming sword in his friends hand and his pristine robes.

Good he hadn't had to use violence.

“Hi. Long time no see, huh?” Cassiel tried to smile but it probably came out weak.

“Cassiel what have you _done?_ his friend demanded as he took a step forward, his wings flapping once in agitation.

“I didn’t _mean_ to.” Cassiel protested before wincing at the pain in his arm, “I just wanted to ask a few questions.”

“I _told_ you not to get involved with him “ his friend waved the arm holding the flaming sword wildly to punctuate just how cross he was.

“I didn’t know what he had planned! If I could just explain that to the Almighty I’m sure she’ll be okay?” even Cassiel wasn’t confident with that but it was literally the only plan he had left.

“Do you realise you’ve put on us on opposite sides? I’m supposed to...what am I supposed to do!?” his friend wiped his eyes with the back of his free hand.

“Why did it have to be you to find me?” his friend muttered, “Anyone but you Cassiel. I don’t want to hurt you…”

“I would prefer you not hurting me as well.” Cassiel replied with a bit of a sideways smile causing his friend to glare at him.

“It’s not funny Cassiel”

The smile faded.

“No I guess it’s not.”

There was a silence between him.

“This isn’t how it was supposed to be” his friend said, the tears flowing freely now, “We were supposed to be together! Building stars and nebulas and quasars and you were going to show me everything you’d already made!”

He waved his sword vaguely.

“I hate this. I hate holding it. I hate how _good_ at it I am. All I wanted was to be with you. Why is it like this!? Why did you have to join the rebellion? WHY!?”

“...Because that’s what I wanted too.I didn’t want it taken away” Cassiel said quietly, “Look…” he took a step away from the wall but stopped when the sword was pointed at his chest.

“No. Don’t come closer. I don’t want to fight. Not with you.”

“...I’m not going to fight.” Cassiel said, his hands in the air, “I’m turning myself in. Maybe I can talk my way out of this?” but he didn’t believe his own words.

His friend stared at him, tear streaks marring his face but after a long moment he lowered his sword.

“Okay. Okay.”

They made their way through the halls with Cassiel willingly walking side by side with his friend.

As they made their way into the more populated areas it was quickly evident that the war was won and Cassiel had been on the wrong side.

“Did you catch one of the rebels?” Gabriel asked with mild surprise as Cassiel approached with his friend.

“Yup! he caught me!” Cassiel said brightly hoping to help his friend but he just glared at the floor and nodded his head once.

“Okay! Well take him to the Almighty so he can be smited, smote? Which is it? Ah I suppose it doesn’t matter as long as he suffers terribly!” Gabriel said with a bright smile as he clapped Cassiel’s friends on the shoulder, “I hear pools of boiling sulfur are involved” he stage whispered to Cassiel’s friend.

His hand tightened on the hilt of his sword before he nodded jerkily and pulled Cassiel by his uninjured arm towards the doors that led to the Almighty.

“Have fun!” Gabriel called brightly with a wave before turning and speaking to MIchael again.

They walked through the doors that had been open as rebels were brought through for punishment.

To their surprise the doors swung shut behind them leaving them alone with the Almighty.

 **“Cassiel”** God spoke.

“Okay look this is all a big misunderstanding! I didn’t even fight or kill anyone! I never wanted to! I just had some questions”

“Cassiel!” his friend hissed

“It’s just that! Why would you ask my friend here to wield a sword? He is too gentle! We wanted to create things together! Also why are you designing a fly that will eat people’s eyeballs? And what’s with-”

**“Cassiel”**

Cassiel fell silent.

The Almighty turned her gaze on him.

 **“There is a reason”** she said finally before taking from him his name and his purpose and casting him from heaven.

As the former Angel was ripped away from his side his friend fell to his knees openly weeping.

A warm glow surrounded him and some of his sorrow faded as the memories of his friend were not taken...but _softened_. A face obscured, the sound of his voice distorted and a gentle voice encouraging him to pull away from those memories entirely.

 **“Do not weep Principality Aziraphale”** God said, naming the Angel whose tears were already drying up, **“For I have a special purpose for you”**

“Yes my lord” and he bowed his head to learn his destiny.

Apparently it would involve a garden and a tree.

 

Far below a former angel crawled out of a pit of boiling sulfur, a new born demon.

He screwed his eyes closed as he dropped to the ground heaving in pain.

He tried to cling to memories not of heaven but of one particular angel but...no. It was gone. Their face was blank and their voice static and it hurt to try and bring them back.

Losing that hurt in a way more than the fall had.

“What name do you want?” a bored looking demon with a clipboard asked as they leaned over his prone body.

“Name?” he asked with a wrinkled brow.

“Yeah name. Not like your proper one. You’ll get that from our lord but one we can actually call you” the clipboard demon asked with a roll of their eyes.

“Uhhhh….” he couldn’t think clearly. Did no one care that he had just climbed out of a pit of boiling sulfur?

Crawl...crawling….

“Crawly?” he said finally seizing on the first that jumped into his head.

The clipboard demon raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Well that will do for now anyway. Go through there and see the big boss, get your new name and your assignment. Now piss off”

The newly dubbed Crawly forced himself to his feet. his eyes felt weird but then the clipboard demon had had something weird on his head. Maybe falling changed them?

Well whatever.

Might as well go see what fate had in store for him.

He staggered over in the direction indicated where he learned there was going to be a garden and they would very much like him to go and make some trouble...

**Author's Note:**

> I had the thought that Crowley wasn't banished from heaven because God was angry with them or even for asking questions.
> 
> Crowley had to fall because his purpose was to be the serpent in the Garden of Eden, fall in love with Aziraphale and Humanity and fail to deliver the antichrist
> 
> Anyone else from hell would not have stood with Aziraphale to defy both heaven and hell. 
> 
> It had to be Crowley....and then I ended up writing this little piece of angst.


End file.
